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ExcessDeathsAU's avatar

Genuinely liked this, thank you. An antidote to the AI-induced globohomo cultural wasteland.

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Neoliberal Feudalism's avatar

Thanks Excess. This first round was kind of an experiment where I focused more on societal level poems, but I have more personal ones to share as well, perhaps in the future. I assumed this post would not be very popular and it's not - it does not appeal to prose-centric readers, poetry traditionalists, or mainstream readers looking for uplift, beauty, catharsis, or identity affirmation, but that's fine.

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Grundvilk's avatar

Pretty interesting, not at all difficult to read and understand -- but I recommend keeping a dog or two in and around the household. Fills in the potholes.

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Neoliberal Feudalism's avatar

I kind of think cats are more of a introvert's game, dogs an extrovert's. But I may be getting a dog soon regardless. I've never had one before...

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Grundvilk's avatar

Dogs encourage their owners to get outside and walk around with them -- maybe that's why it appears extroverts prefer them; i.e., dogs decrease some characteristics of introversion.

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LinMaree's avatar

What I think really doesn’t matter, or maybe better said, doesn’t make a difference. And whatever “rating” those who know of poetry would give this - I don’t - for me, it’s quite right on. Re “ON WOMEN.” With the particulars changed, I could right the same thing about men. But it isn’t either men or women, males or females at issue. It’s the idea, concept of the partnered relationship called marriage that’s really in question - to me. No one really knows HOW to do it. There is no clear outline, instruction guide, and we are misled by the stories of how it can be, what it should be, as you alluded to. And it doesn’t seem to “work.” Not really, although the possibility has a compelling draw. Still, none of us really knows just what the heck we’re doing, so as it is reported to have been said, forgive us each and all for we know not what we do.

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Neoliberal Feudalism's avatar

Thanks Lin, I appreciate it. Yes, we're in a completely atomized, nihilistic era where all the traditions and expectations learned through long historical processes have broken down - not only do women not know how to be women (as the poem discusses), but men don't know how to be men, either. Everyone is grasping in the dark, terrified of the void, filling that terror with distraction...

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LinMaree's avatar

Thank you, AI, for “correcting” my input of w-r-i-t-e to r-i-g-h-t, “I could write…”. Now I get to do proofreading again.

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William Hunter Duncan's avatar

I myself prefer traditional poetry. I will take Keats or Shelley with their rhyme, meter and metaphor, before the vast majority of free verse. But keep writing.

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Neoliberal Feudalism's avatar

Thanks William. I knew this type of poetry would not appeal to all, or even to most. Intuition dictates my writing focus more than my ego; there is no master plan. I have to follow the inner voice, at least balanced with other aspects of my personality, for things to play out in a way that deepens my soul journey.

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William Hunter Duncan's avatar

I recommend a focus on the beauty of life, for balance. You have good intentions.

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Freelander's avatar

Me too. Probably I was spoiled by those really good poets of yore, but poetry for me has to have rhyme and meter, or at the very least musicality. Anything else is just cutting lines at random; not even free verse. Then there is of course poetic prose, but that's prose, not real poetry.

I think, perhaps one of the main reasons why there is almost zero good poetry nowadays is the fast pace of today's life. Poetry requires much thinking and little writing, and that takes a lot of time (besides considerable talent). But now we want it now, quick. Immediate results.

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youarewhatyouis's avatar

Thanks for sharing. A lot! Perhaps try for more quality over quantity. I find that a good rule is to look at whether each line/couplet can stand alone and still have some poetic quality. That will limit your output but not taken too literally it can help.

Seems like poetry is in the air...here's another Substacker's recent post

https://riseuk.substack.com/p/a-poem-the-new-clearance-2

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wendy broffman's avatar

There is very little "new" poetry and even prose I like these days, but I enjoyed yours...poetry and prose writing.

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Neoliberal Feudalism's avatar

Thanks Wendy.

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Joshua Allen Michael's avatar

Good show, sir. It had the effect upon me as f it were a stream-of-consciousness performance piece.

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Balkanero's avatar

yes, I need my alcohol reward after work. This is my illusion to escape the treadmill. Only on my Harley I can be sober and escape. A thing I bought thanks to the treadmill. What life am I living?

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Balkanero's avatar

obscure references to the Iliad or Dante

descriptions of flowers

obsession with meter

Or rhyme

yes, exactly

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Joseph Hex's avatar

"It must be worth it, in itself, on some level, now, or it isn't worth doing."

I'm gonna mull over that one. It feels very true, but also, very not true.

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Martin Castillo's avatar

I thought I hated poetry. I still hate poetry. But yours is pretty good. Or at least I like it.

Hopelessness is liberating

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Neoliberal Feudalism's avatar

Thanks Martin.

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Griptoe Guy in Training's avatar

Incredible writing. Thankful you published

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Neoliberal Feudalism's avatar

Thanks Griptoe.

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Ann Glover's avatar

And you absolutely must.

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